


The Instagrammer AU  everyone asked for

by Imacream



Category: Tales Of Tyolamir
Genre: Crack, Dorks in Love, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, Im gonna make this a tag:, Instagram, No Plot/Plotless, Olie fucks a blender, Olie loosing her v-card to inanimate objects mentioned, Polyamory, Serious Treated Crack, Sex Jokes, Sibling Rivalry, The Author Regrets Nothing, This author has no fucks left to give, What Was I Thinking?, chatfic, i hate myself so much, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imacream/pseuds/Imacream
Summary: Everyone has instagram. Kai's a chicken. Olie's a porn bot. Astoria has nice toes  and Irene puts up with the dumbassery.OR: IKEA starts an account together.-----------------AKA: I actually could not care less. I started to burn Olie and i dug my grave deeper. This time though, she isn't carrying a fucking hot dog baby though. No, this time its a blender.Irregular updates.Everyone else is there as well. But to be honest theyre all concerned.Then i shoved Instagram into it somehow because otherwise I would have no excuse.I do not know how the characters creators let me make this bullshit but they do.
Relationships: Astoria Rune/Irene Seymour/Malakai Calhoun/Olive Dawn
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	The Instagrammer AU  everyone asked for

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LeagueOfSiege](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeagueOfSiege/gifts).



> I actaully hate myself for taking THIS innocent idea and creating this but, here i am.

Cece peered over Olie’s shoulder. Olie ignored her twin in exchange of tapping on the keyboard on her phone. Deciding to get a better view, Cece rolled off the arm rest. She tumbled over Olie until she could see the phone screen.

“You’re making another fucking instagram account?” She exclaimed. Olie jumped as if she had failed to notice Cece’s move.

Olie responded, “I hate my friends but they think I’m the only one without an FBI agent.”

Cece snorted, “You, not having an FBI agent?! Please.” 

Olie glared at Cece but deep down she knew, the other was definitely right. If you had searched up how to murder your sister (it was nothing personal), Can girls feel like bread or was that twitter thread written by someone who doesn’t love girls? If that wasn’t enough to have them concerned, then Olie wouldn’t fail to disappoint. She had also googled a fair amount of smut. The girl had no idea when to stop. The girl did not have a filter, whatever she felt like ended up seen.

When people made it out as if she was still the starry eyed child, Cece would slap them. Yes, she had once asked how to fuck herself. She never tried to fuck a hot dog or watched a guy in a platypus suit smash a girl in a poodle suit. There were only some things that ruined people’s minds. Cece knew that Olie was trying to cross them all off.

How Olie even had friends was beyond her. Especially friends who wanted to run a joint instagram account with her.

“Add me to this group chat?” Cece demanded. Olie looked up at her twin and stuck her tongue out. 

She shook her head, “No. I know what you’re thinking and it isn’t an eighty year old man trying to jack off one last time.” 

Cece denied that was what she was thinking. Cece lied. 

Olie continued, “I’ll have you know it’s two very hot girls, and a guy who is ripped like damn fucker fuck me.” 

Okay, Olie had defiantly been catfished. Cece leapt on her twin in an attempt to get the phone out of her hands. Ever defiant Olie, face-planted onto a cushion and held the phone close to her chest as if letting it go would end her world.

It would but that was beyond the point. 

Cece slid off the sofa and tried to lift Olie up. When that failed, she gave up. She sat on the floor and waited until Olie got hungry and went to get pot noodles. If her guess was right, it would take half an hour.

Cece was wrong. It took forty five minutes until Olie went to make pot noodles. The elder twin got up and went to turn the microwave on. She also left her phone unguarded during this time under the belief locking the screen kept her safe. Cece took this time to stop whatever was going on.

Using the knowledge gained from looking over ones shoulder, Cece typed in _IKEA_meatball_ and watched the screen unlock. She quickly tapped on instagram and watched the screen lit up with the familiar logo.

There were no unopen DMs on her private account which made sense. No one ever talked to the twins thanks to _someones_ questionable morals. The five people following her all chatted on whatsapp anyway so using instagrams useless methods wasn’t needed.

No, the account Cece logged into was her fandom account. There were a number of notifications but she ignored them. She tapped the home button then the paper airplane. Surely enough, there was a group open there.

**_It’s OLIE’S MOTHERFUCKING superhero movie_ **

****

**_Runestone:_ ** _Ol I see you online. Have you made the account?_

**_Messaged liked by ThatGuyKai and Ireeeeenneee_ **

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _She’s probably forgotten something important and come to ask us lmao._

**_Runestone:_ ** _Probably._

**_Ireeeeeenneeeee:_ ** _That’s mean guys >:( _

**_Runestone:_ ** _But it’s the truth, that trumps all._

**_Messaged liked by ThatGuyKai._ **

**_Ireeeeeneeee:_ ** _Y’all are bullies._

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _I know._

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _But at least I ain’t Alex._

**_Messaged liked Runestone and Ireeenneee_ **

**_Ireeeenee:_ ** _Imagine being Alex._

**_Messaged liked by Runestone and ThatGuyKai._ **

**_Runestone:_ ** _Anyway Ol, what have you forgot this time?_

**_Oliepop:_ ** _She’s gone to make pot noodles._

**_Messaged liked by ThatGuyKai._ **

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _That’s an Olie thing to do._

**_Runestone:_ ** _If she went to make pot noodles who are you?_

**_Ireeeenneee:_ ** _Very good point._

**_Oliepop:_ ** _I’m literally just here to tell you bastards that Olie may be stupid but I’m not_

**_Oliepop:_ ** _She never shuts the fuck up about you all and if you lived by us she would willing loose her viginity to you all._

**_Messaged liked by ThatGuyKai, Runestone and Ireeenneee_ **

**_Runestone:_ ** _Didn’t she loose to that a blender?_

That was news to Cece. Last time she checked her sister fucked a hot dog and that was her first time. Apparently she had gone at a blender before then.

Cece yelled, “OLIE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ABOUT YOU FUCKING A MOTHERFUCKING BLEDNER?” 

“YEAH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, YOU WERE PLAYING DANGIT GRANDPA WITH MAX AND I GOT HORNY AND ID RATHER RUIN OUR BLENDER THEN KILL OUR NEIGHBOUR!” Olie screeched.

“I MAKE MY STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKES IN THAT THING BITCH!” Cece screamed. She hadn’t done it since she played DR with Max fourtunately but it didn’t make the thought any better. The microwave pinged. Olie would be coming back in the room any second.

**_Oliepop:_ ** _I was not told about that._

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _Be glad you weren’t on video call when she did it then._

**_Runestone:_ ** _Sooo that’s why you started to think Olie was a porn bot? That actually makes a lot more sense now._

**_Messaged liked by ThatGuyKai and Ireeenneee_ **

**_Oliepop:_ ** _Unfourtunately she isn’t a porn bot._

**_Messaged liked by Runestone ThatGuyKai and Ireeennee_ **

**_Runestone:_ ** _Hang on,_

**_Runestone:_ ** _Who the fuck are you?_

**_Oliepop:_ ** _I’m her twin._

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _Oooohhh_

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _That makes sense_

**_Ireeennee:_ ** _Am I the only one scared? Olie like never leaves her phone around._

Olie chose that moment to open the door. She eyed the phone in Cece’s hand before she scowled. Cece noticed the death glare and chuckled. Her hand reached for the back of her neck as she itched there. A wide smile forced itself onto her face.

“I was doing it for your sake. “ Cece confirmed. It did nothing to cure the wrath that reeked off Olie. Olie leapt at her and grappled the phone. Her hands were outstretched and once they caught the metal, refused to let go. Cece wrestled with her. Unknown to them both, they had smashed the call button. Everyone on the groupchat didn’t hesitate. They hopped on and heard the whole commotion.

“HI!” Someone screamed down the line.

“ASTORIA I THINK THEY’RE FIGHTING!” A second female yelled back.

“HOW DO WE KNOW THEIR NOT-“ The only male said.

“KAI NO!” Everyone screeched at the same time.

“IT WOULDN’T BE THAT WEIRD IF OLIE IS A PORN BOT?” Kai screeched.

“I AM NOT A PORN BOT. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Olie yelled. Cece covered her ears and effectively let go of the phone. It didn’t really matter now. There was no way on earth these guys were trying to kidnap Olie. Cece took that knowledge as her cue to leave and effectively left the idiots to die in peace.

Olie finally finished making the account. The group had moved onto a whatsapp call in order to remain talking while they started there demise.

“Ol, I’m heading in now. Can I do the profile pic and all.” Irene asked.

“Sure but please do not mention any of our private jokes.” Kai responded.

Astoria replied a second afterwards, “Yeah, also I bagse first post.”

Olie groaned down the line. “If it’s Dymera I will take a burger and smash it.” There were giggles from the others. 

“Okay okay, It won’t be Dymera. It’ll be me.” Astoria reassured. Olie sighed from relief. Astoria would definitely flood the account with her siblings and their antics while the rest of them watch the followers love Dymera more than the others. It happened before. It would happen again.

Irene, shared the knowledge, “Can we make a no Dymera rule unless we all agree? I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

By last time, she meant Dymera’s instagram account which was created using Irene’s email.

Astoria and Olie hummed in agreement while Kai spoke up about how unfair that rule was,

“What if Dymera decided she needs another one of our joint collab accounts under her thumb? We can’t say no to her.”

“Kai, she’s not that self centered.” Astoria piped up in defense. No one really doubted that. Dymera was maybe the most innocent person they had ever met.

“We know Astoria but you should remember that she has a way of taking over.” Irene chimed.

“MY EMAIL ADDRESS MY RULES!” Olie screeched before anyone could reply. A shriek came from Astoria while the other two held the phone away from their ear. 

Kai took the safest route after the yelling and hang up. Irene followed soon after. Olie left soon after and ended the call. Astoria stared at her phone and blinked in shock.

Olie received a notification,

 ** _IKEA_NotOfficial has posted.  
_**

So apparently Kai had already hopped on the bandwagon with the first post. Olie looked at the photo and liked it instantly. It was a new photo. She knew that becauese of the weather. The sun was scorching and you could barely makehis face out from lighting. The lightning was truly horrible.

Olie tapped on to see the description and laughed at how Kai it was.

 _Get this account to 100 followers and I’ll do a smexy face reveal. Only rule is DNI if you’re called Alex AND you’re a whore. I broke up with you for a reason._

And Olie could have taken it completely seriosuly but none of the others had.

**_Ireeenneee:_ ** _C-can I hhave you-r numbere uwu?!!? Your very smex._

**_Runestone:_ ** _@Ireeeenneeee he’s mine >>>:(((( but you can be my smexy wife. _

If you asked Olie she was completely in the right to fuck with Kai’s comment section,

**_Oliepop:_ ** _BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKERS PORNBOT COMING THROUGH, WANNA WATCH ME FUCK PASTA? MY SMEX AND YOURS WILL TOP THE CHARTS!!111!!!_

No one was surprised when they got a message from Kai on the groupchat:

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _Guys stfu I actaully want a chick._

**_Runestone:_ ** _And there I thought we were your chicks :(((_

**_Oliepop:_ ** _Last time I checked Kai wasn’t a chicken though?_

**_Messaged liked by ThatGuyKai Ireeenneeeee and Runestone_ **

**_Ireeeenneeee:_ ** _It wouldn’t be a plot twist if he was tho._

**_Runestone:_ ** _The burrrrrn._

**_Oliepop:_ ** _I’m making my intro, now. Stfu._

So Olie swiped on and started to work. It was slow progress as she swiped around phonto fonts. Their were several ones she wanted to use. It took a while before she selcted blackout. She twiddled with the controls before she found her theme. She set to work making the post. It was quick to make and quickly she had placed on the hashtags and clicked upload.

_I’m apparenatly a porn bot but I think I look v real._

Her friends had also gone mad in her comments.

**_Ireeeenneee:_ ** _She’s fucked a blender. Don’t believe a word she says._

**_Runestone:_ ** _She’s threatened to fim herself fuck pasta._

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _I have seen everything above. It is true._

Olie rolled her eyes and didn’t bother pinging the groupchat. Instead she refreshed the page consistently awaiting Astoria or Irene to doom themselves. Astoria fell for the trap. Except, she had made fun of herself before the others could.

Astoria’s first picture was her toes. In some way, Olie understood where she came from.

**_Oliepop:_ ** _Lovely feet hun._

**ThatGuyKai:** _Can I eat them?_

**_Ireeenneee:_ ** _@ThatGuyKai. Nom nom nom_

Back in the groupchat Astoria was laughing at their responses.

**_Runestone:_ ** _How’d you like the toe pics?_

**_ThatGuyKai:_ ** _It was better than Dymera_

**_Oliepop:_ ** _shhh. Irene posted, time to ruin her._

Except Irene is a goddess. None of them could tear her down from the pedestal of grace she stood upon. So let others be blessed with complimenting her.


End file.
